Cassie Kellner [00:00:01]:
Welcome to The Bloom Effect. I'm your host, Cassie Kellner, former chairside assistant turned team coach and founder of Everbloom. This podcast is all about the real stuff. Honest convos, leadership lessons, and the heart behind thriving orthodontic teams. If you're ready to grow, lead and bloom, let's dive in.
Cassie Kellner [00:00:22]:
Welcome back to The Bloom Effect. Today's episode is just me and the reason why I'm doing this. This wasn't the original plan, but I posted something on Instagram recently that really took off and it's a topic that I think is really important to discuss. And so today's episode is very short and sweet, but I felt like I needed to discuss that. Leadership is lonely and I am going to talk through a few different topics with you today and really kind of get to the bottom of leadership. Now, obviously this podcast is very much geared to orthodontics, but it's really just workplace environment as a whole. And so I wanted to talk through one why leadership is lonely. And really I want to make sure that people out there know that they're not alone. And, and so leadership in an orthodontic practice, obviously it's systems, it's schedules, it's metrics, it's people. But you're responsible mainly for the people and that can feel really heavy, especially when you're leading people that you used to sit with as your peer. This is, I think, what people are not talking about enough. And I just want to just bring it to light. If I'm being honest. I want to dive into leadership in orthodontics and how it feels incredibly lonely and how to move through the loneliness in a healthy, sustainable way. So one being the one in charge often means you are also being the one that is left out. Let's get honest, let's get really real for a second. When you move into a leadership role, especially in a practice where the team is very close, there's a tight knit dynamic. It's common to feel a shift in dynamics almost immediately, sometimes overnight. You may have felt it already. So this is really important to, to discuss because you're no longer a part of the lunchroom drama, right? Or the. The really funny conversations that listen. Lunchroom conversations are wild. You're no longer a part of that. You can be pushed out of the friend group texts that happen when you shift into a leadership role, or if you're not, you still a lot more quiet and you don't give an opinion. If it's something that's personal, that's happening, you are no longer a part of the casual vent sesh that happens in your practice. And not because you're not liked, not because you people can't stand you. It's because your role requires discretion. And trust works differently when you're holding people accountable. And so sometimes this shift for individuals in a leadership role can feel like a loss. A loss of closeness, a loss of friendship, a loss of feeling like you are in, in part of a group. And no one really warns you about that. No one warns you that sometimes you don't sit in the lunchroom and you're not really sure where to go, so you may stay in your car a little extra, you know, a little longer during lunch or a break. So I just want you to know that it's real and normal to feel these ways on a team. The pressure to always feel on when you're on your team. This is kind of that unspoken expectation to be steady, to be stable, to be inspiring. And a lot of times as leaders, whether you're the clinical lead, the office manager, director of operations, lab lead, orthodontist, associate, you're a leader. When you are an associate, just because you are not the owner of that practice, you are still leading. And a lot of times these expectations feel really heavy. You can feel tired and overwhelmed, and let's get very real, you can feel uncertain in your role and people are watching you because you're in a leadership role. And that can feel really heavy. So sometimes if you're quiet, your team can assume they are upset. If you're rushed or you answer quickly, they can assume you're mad. There are so many dynamics that happen when you are in a leadership role. And to be honest with you, this kind of pressure in a leadership role, no matter who you are, can feel the labor, the emotional labor can feel incredibly exhausting to the point where when you get home, you need 15, 10 minutes. When you walk in the door of, or maybe that car ride is like your safe space to go. The truth is, you don't have to be on all the time to be a great leader. And people can disagree with this. You can be authentically you. You do need to be incredibly emotionally aware and consistent. But you are allowed to have bad days. You are allowed to say, hey, I'm struggling here. You are allowed to say, I don't have the answer for this right now, but I'll find it for you. You're allowed to create a space where you don't have to perform, because sometimes leadership can feel like a performance because you have to be on. You have to create a space, an emotional space for your team. And sometimes that can feel emotionally exhausting to you. So create. My tip to you would be to create a break. Whether it's a coffee break in your office where your door is closed for 15 minutes and you're working on something quietly, whether that's alone time in your car or a walk outside of the practice with a mentor or a friend where you get to turn off the switch. This is incredibly necessary. This next topic that I'm going to talk about is really difficult. It's. I'll be honest with you, it's very difficult for me. This was really difficult for me as a leader and as a coach and as a human, because I am who I am and I am an "I" on the DISC wheel. So I, high I's, in general, it's important for us to be liked. And when you fall into a leadership role, you have to let go of needing to be liked by everyone. Because if you do not let go, you will not succeed in this role. I think one of the biggest, the biggest pieces of growth in any leader, especially, oh, this is. This is. This topic. Get ready. If you were a peer and then you took on a leadership role in the practice or in the business or in the company is you have to detach your worth from being liked. I'm going to say that again. You have to detach your worth from being liked. Right? You're not going to be everyone's favorite. You're not going to be everybody's favorite. Every single day. You. Sometimes you need to say no, even though you want to say yes. That's very difficult to do. As a leader, you want to say yes, but it's not in the best interest of the practice, the team, the orthodontist, yourself. And sometimes, most times, you have to keep people accountable. And holding people accountable that are under your leadership can be very difficult, especially if they were once your peer and you were at happy hour with them and now you have to have an uncomfortable conversation. So you have to let go of being liked by everyone. You sometimes have to make a call where others are going to disagree with this. You can be kind, you can be respectful, you can be compassionate, and you can still be firm and clear. Take that in. That's the sweet spot that, my friends, is real, true leadership. So my recommendation to you as well is to build a support system within your practice. Whether you have a leadership team where you get to sit down and talk through some of these things, you have A safe space within your practice and a leadership team, whether that's the office manager, perhaps there's a director of operations, perhaps there's a clinical lead. You get to sit down collectively with the orthodontist, multiple orthodontist, potentially associates, and talk through in your leadership meetings. You should be meeting so that you feel less alone. Now, if you are in a practice that's a smaller boutique practice and you don't essentially have this team to kind of rely on, it's really critical that you find and you build support outside of your practice. You can find a circle that isn't tied to your office, whether it's a coach or a study club, or you have people in this industry that understand what you're carrying, because then you feel less alone. Find a clinical lead from another office. Get on a group, whether that's on social media, as long as it's a healthy group. Find a leadership coach that can coach you through these things so you can talk through these situations and scenarios and you feel less alone because your dynamic in practice is unique. Find industry events where you can honestly talk shop and venture. Just vent and, and feel less alone and feel more normal because people are. Can relate to you, your situation, your scenarios are relatable where you can sit down in a group and go, oh my gosh, I went through that two years ago and let me tell you, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Or this is how we got through it. Private forums for orthodontic leaders. Your team. Listen to this. Your team cannot be your emotional dumping ground. But that does not mean that you have to carry all of this alone. There's a difference between being lonely and isolated. There's a difference between the two. You don't have to be isolated in your position. Lonely means you crave connection and you have a massive mindset shift and a different type of connection with your team when you fall into a leadership role. Isolated means that you've started to believe that no one can understand you. There's a difference between the two. One is human. One is human. Lonely means you are human. The other is dangerous. If you feel isolated in your position, that means that you have lost trust. So being lonely is okay. There are many ways that you can pull out of the loneliness. Feeling isolated is a whole different ball game. So I would say if you're feeling lonely, to acknowledge it. One, and that's what this Instagram post has done. People from this industry and others have gone, oh my gosh, I acknowledge that I'm lonely. And I've made this shift and now I'm having a really hard time shifting into this new mindset because leadership is lonely. And normalize it. Say it out loud. Take one small step to reconnect. Here's the thing. Self reflection is everything, my friends. I say this authenticity. This is why I do this podcast. Ask for feedback. Go to lunch with your team or individual team members. Go to lunch with your doctor. Go to lunch with other leaders within your practice. Create a virtual meetup if you need to. If you are a virtual leader in some capacity. If you're feeling isolated, I would really ask yourself, are you blocking out enough time one for yourself and two for growth? Have you created an isolating environment in your leadership because you have felt lonely for so long and have not reached out? Are you avoiding. Oh you guys. Are you avoiding hard conversation or are you suppressing your own needs as a leader and you have put yourself on this island. This isolation gets honest. Get honest with yourself. Get honest with your doctor. If you are the doctor, then you should be reaching out to other orthodontists to feel less alone and more like, yes, I can take this on and somebody out there, I can almost guarantee it has gone through the exact same scenario that you are going through right now. Because I am here to tell you that leadership should not be a solo act. You should not be solo in your leadership journey. It's already incredibly lonely. Why do it alone? I have a leadership six month leadership program for office managers. I also have a six month leadership program for clinical leads. There is a wait list. However, it is my goal as someone who was in leadership in a practice to make sure you feel less alone. Here are my final thoughts. Leadership and orthodontics can be one of the most rewarding roles out there. But it takes a lot from you as an individual and it also I'm going to get real sentimental. At your core, it asks a lot of your heart and who you are as a human. It's difficult sometimes to make difficult decisions when that's not the decision that you want to make, but it's the in the best interest of the business. So I'm here to tell you you're not broken if you feel lonely in your role. Sometimes you're not bad at your leadership role if you miss the old dynamic. Did you hear that? You're not bad at your leadership role if you miss the old dynamic and you are not weak, my friends, for needing support and clarity. You are not. You're just a human. And that's the best kind of leader there is. So I am here to tell you, I hear you, I understand and I know that sometimes getting into a leadership role, whether someone asked you to do this or you organically moved into this position and it was the best course of action for your business, for your practice, for your team. Because potentially a lot of leaders were already leading before they got put in this role anyway. You just now have a new title. You are not Alone. There is a massive shift when you go into a leadership role and I want you to do some self reflection on yourself of what it is you need. Thank you for joining me today. Until next time, keep leading with heart, keep building with intention and keep blooming right where you're planted.
Cassie Kellner [00:18:26]:
Thank you for joining me on The Bloom Effect where we keep it real, keep it growing, and always keep it team first. If today's episode sparked something for you, an idea, a shift, or just a reminder that you're not alone, take a second and share it with your team or a fellow ortho leader. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss a convo. And if you're loving the show, leave a review. It helps more practices find us and join the movement. And if you're ready to bring this kind of energy into your practice, visit DiscoverEverbloom.com to learn more about working together. Until next time, keep leading with heart.
Cassie Kellner [00:19:01]:
Keep building with intention, and keep blooming right where you're planted.
